04.24.03 – Don’t Eat Us

We just discovered a quarterly kids magazine put out by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), where under the headline “On Our Radar: Rock Icons, Indie Darlings, and Cool Bands Agree — Meat Is Murder!”… was Guster’s very own Ryan Miller. Look:

Not to be insensitive to vegetarians or people who believe that animals should be treated ethically, but I’ve known Ryan Miller for twelve years, and in those twelve years Ryan Miller has eaten more animals than most people eat in a lifetime. There is not a more carnivorous band out there than Guster. But because we made fun of a crunchy pin we got at an Earth Day show in April of 2000, we end up being cast as vegans in a PETA article. This is gold! Gold!! This is the very definition of irony!!

And not to be insensitive to “Morrissey,” an artist we admire, respect, and rip-off to no end… but you’re not making a strong vegan case with the “vegetables taste better than meat” argument… go with the “if we grew wheat in the pastures where cattles graze we could feed the world fifty times over” argument or something. Have you ever tried to eat a salad without covering it with dressing? Broccoli or cauliflower without salting, peppering, and cooking it first? I’d rather eat one of these garnished chairs you’re always talking about! No one can come up with a good argument for eating animals? What about these sharp, predatory, gristle-grinding incisors in my mouth, Morrissey!? What about all the good times we had!? In other Guster vs. Nature news, I woke up the other day in Winston-Salem NC and saw THIS out the bus window:

It’s a huge blown up photo of a kitten… and a baby… of a kitten SPOONING a baby. There’s a photo lab right next to the Ramada in Winston-Salem where they attract customers with a huge blown up photo of a kitten spooning a baby.

(Did you see that PETA? I’m promoting a picture of a kitten! Put ME in your next quarterly! Love Kittens, Don’t Eat Them! Put my face on the pin!)

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