Just as we were getting comfortable out on the road with the Mayer Camp again, Fortuna swept in and spun our cycle downward after the Louisville show. Remember Donnie, the much-loved Gusbus driver with flames for arms who’d been carting us around since November?
Well, after our show last night in Kentucky, we climbed on the bus and found not Donnie but THIS MAN:
Smitty. Not Donnie. Smitty. All traces of Donnie had been removed too. His coyote helmet — gone. His… coyote helmet chin strap — gone. “I’m your bus driver now,” said Smitty, as he let out a hearty phlegm-coated guffaw. I guess there was a weird circumstance with the bus company and Donnie had to leave our tour, immediately, without even saying goodbye. I know you’re thinking “big deal, so you got a new driver, get back to the shit-phone controversy”, but imagine if you were accustomed to coming home from school every day and your mom always greeted you at the kitchen door, perhaps with a warm chocolate cookie extended from a battered Guster oven mitt..
And then suddenly one day you come home and it’s not your mom at the door…. it’s Smitty! And he’s holding a big blue flashlight instead of a chocolate chip cookie, and when he sees the horror in your eyes, he yells “I’M YOUR MOTHER NOW!” … and he starts laughing maniacally, and there’s phlegm is his laugh, and the phlegm-laugh, it never stops! And you can’t scream, as hard as you try, you can’t seem to make any noise…
That’s what it’s like.
guster.com EXCLUSIVE interview with Smitty:
guster.com: “So, is that a beard or a goatee?”
Smitty: “I dunno, it’s kind of in-between I guess.”