05.03.06

I brought anti-perspirant on this tour for some reason. I’d been enjoying just plain deodorant for years but I ran out right before the tour and found an old stick of anti-perspirant to bring along instead. I don’t know how anyone uses that crap. It feels like burning. I lasted maybe one pit-cancer-inducing week with it and then bought a stick of old spice long-lasting high-endurance fresh-scent deodorant. Where are you going with this Brian.

So when you buy a stick of deodorant you know how you have not only the cap between you and the blue stuff, but a little plastic safety seal protector too? I assume the point of it is to ensure that no one’s tampering with your deodorant in the store… they’re just checking the scent to see if they want to smell like that. Though I suppose you could always take the little protector plastic off, lather up your armpits in the store, replace it, then return the stick to the shelf and laugh maniacally with free clean armpits for 24 hours until you’d have to do it all over again the next day. That would be no way to live.

Okay, I’m not sure you know what the little plastic safety protector looks like so I’m going to Walgreen’s with my camera-phone. In the rain.

It’s that clear thing. You don’t do anything with it but throw it out right before your first application. So the other day, not really thinking about what I was doing, I threw the plastic protector thing *and* the cap in the garbage, in one absent-minded motion. Not a big deal, you are probably thinking. Fish the cap out of the garbage. And stop whining about drunk college kids at your shows while you’re at it. Except that I live on a bus, remember, and there’s a trash chute on the bus that leads to a garbage can in the bay underneath the bus and we’re cruising along the highway and in one hour on our (very green campus consciousness) tour, a harmless deodorant cap gets buried in an enormous pile of pizza cheese, banana peels, socks, etc…

I tried the old anti-perspirant cap. It didn’t fit. So now I have this mess inside of my toiletry bag:

It’s a plastic dixie cup bag, and it’s better than squandering 3 dollars on a gratuitous second stick of deodorant. So that’s the very latest in Guster vs Personal Hygiene Products news, and boy doesn’t Adam look like a pussy for complaining about splitting his head open on a tampon dispenser after what I’ve had to go through.

Bonus pic! Student security guard outside our dressing room at Holy Cross last night…

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