Have you guys seen the cartoon caption thing they do in The New Yorker? Of course you have. Guster fans are some of the most literate, progressive, and culturally-aware music fans around. And they’re good at beer pong to boot. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, the magazine runs a contest every week where they print a political cartoon but leave the caption out — for you, the literate, progressive, and culturally-aware reader to create.
For example, here’s a recent one:
My submission was: “Shoot him! Shoot him dead for his dolphin meat before he gets away!”
The winning submission, from Lawrence Wood of Chicago Illinois, was: “If he’s so damn intelligent, let him get a job.”
So now that everyone understands, let’s have our own Guster-themed caption contest. Here’s the photo from Ryan Miller’s cell phone:
That’s me, Joe, and a member of the Macomb IL police force on the campus of Western Illinois University. The cop is the one “talking” in our cartoon. Send your caption ideas to my personal email address and I’ll post the top three, along with an actual explanation of the situation on Monday. In the event that I don’t get three submissions, I will make up a few captions, post them with some fake names and hometowns, and eat a pint of ice cream while weeping into it. Good luck!
Update — April 16th
So the real story is the campus police nearly tasered us for playing bocce on a campus construction site before the show at Western Illinois University. We can’t help it, we like our bocce to be extreme, in a mini-golf sort of way. Anyway, when he found out we were the band he calmed down, ran our driver’s licenses, and didn’t arrest us.
Thanks for all the awesome captions… I whittled it down to my favorite ten. Here we go…
1st PLACE: “Well, how do you propose we get this “Mr. Scooter” out of the pipe?” — Eric Riddle, Richardson TX
2nd PLACE: “I’m carbon neutral too, which one of you boys is going to kiss me?” — Jeni Mand, Minneapolis MN
3rd PLACE: “I don’t know if you can play here – you all look mighty Jew to me” — Gregory Rogers, Boston MA
HONORABLE MENTION (in no particular order):
“Which one of you is Rosenw…. Rosen… Rosenwer ….. Screw it. Just don’t come back here again.” — Chris Wood, St Louis MO
“This isn’t a photo ID, this is a Blimpie “buy 12 subs get one free” card! — Dan Deluca, Worcester MA
“Eco-friendly tour or not, I’m not letting you build your own sewer system.” — Justin Parlette, Topeka KS
“The reason I had to come over here is… wait. Are you guys Guster? Is Scooter around? I’d love an autograph.” –Becky Weidhaas, Harwich MA
“Son, in Illinois we don’t play the drums with our hands…” — Angie Refo, Tampa FL
“Actually, i’m not really a cop….but, I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.” — Andrew Kontak, Dallas TX
“As soon as you autograph my left buttock, you’ll be on your way.” — Kevin Strogen, College Park MD