O port o potty
What lies beneath — discover!
Your sunken treasures
(that is a haiku because the syllables go 5 then 7 then 5) (let me explain)
This is my 11th road journal about port o potties. I am counting.
Missoula, Montana. Stage in a field. Catering tent. Gravel parking lot. You do the math…. I will definitely be doing my business in a port o potty today. But it’s already 11am when I stumble off the bus ready to start my umm, daily routine — I am late to the game and there appear to be only two port o potties here, baking in the sun. This is awful. It’s 95 degrees in Montana today.
From inside the one on the right I can hear Adam on the phone. There are no words to describe Adam’s dedication to his work with Reverb. That he can hold a tele-conference in one of these shit coffins is true testament to his focus. And his insanity. The one on the left is unspeakably gross. What now?
I prefer not to follow Adam directly. Strange, I know — apparently I would prefer to follow a truck driver or a grimy local stagehand, perspiration dripping down into The Hole as they do their business — but I just don’t want to know whose poop mine is landing on top of. Let it be a mystery. I need to eat a piece of ginger and reboot. I need a real indoor toilet. This sucks.
And there it is, like an oasis… a row of twenty port o potties in the distance — the ones for the concert goers! Of course. Duh. Civilian port o potties, before the civilians arrive for the concert.
The first one I pick, and I just use my ouija board intuition on this (like putting chips down on a roulette board)… the first one is pristine. A virgin port o potty. I think they were all virgin potties, like some enchanting island full of beautiful port o potty sirens, but I didn’t bother to check. I was too busy photographing my own reflection in the water (before I crapped in it).
Crystal clear, all the way to the bottom, just the like Clark Fork River of Missoula, which we would float in a tube in (and pee in) later that day.
Thanks Montana, for welcoming us so pleasantly to our first show in your state in 22 years as a band.