Monthly Archives: April 2007

04.28.07 – The Week In Review

THE WEEK IN REVIEW

I left the Boston Opera House entry lingering online for a week even though plenty of journal-worthy things were going down in the days following that show. I suppose part of me was afraid that if I kept piling up road journals on the site people might never discover the one where we brought a guy that looked almost exactly like Bob Saget on stage.

So let’s review the last week in Guster, rapid-fire blogger style since the guslog v. 2.0 appears to be on hiatus.

4/22 University of Buffalo

Shared the bill here with Finger Eleven, The Roots, and Mr. A-Z. What a mix! What a wonderful tribute to the open-mindedness of students at the University of Buffalo! We talked about touring together this summer, the four of us in a rotating order — and it seemed like a good idea, the only hold-up being that it would be the worst-flowing show of all time.

Speaking of miserable showings, Buffalo’s airport security made it into ?uestlove’s myspace blog for being racist douchebags after the show. Read about it here. ?uestlove drew a cartoon picture of himself on a drumhead during the Roots’ set and flung it into the crowd for a lucky fan to take home. With like 10,000 people in the audience he probably didn’t expect our 45-year old truck driver, Roger, to catch it, but that’s what happened.

?uestlove signed drum head

Roger

We still don’t know what Roger was doing out there during the middle of the Roots’ set, and it’s anyones guess how many 19 year old girls he clobbered in a mad dash to get to the drum head. He presented it to me and Scooter proudly, even though “people in the crowd were offering me good money for it.” Thanks Roger.

4/23 Rochester

Speaking of big burly men mixed in amongst the crowd, it was hard not to notice the seven-footer in the second row of the Water Street Music Hall show in Rochester on Tuesday.

Dave Yonkman snapped that shot of him. What you can’t see in the photo is one very angry 5 foot 4 inch girl, with her forehead squarely between the shoulder blades of the gentle giant, weeping softly into her pint of ice cream and hopelessly calling out for “Cocoon” — we’ll never hear your screams, girl with no sight lines! That man’s stomach growls louder than your futile re?uests! Ryan called him “tall guy” a couple times during the show.

4/25 Williams College

Woke up to discover that the stuffed pig pillow I bought for $3 at a flea market in Branson Missouri had been gagged with duct tape, de-tailed, and de-flowered.


left to right: Dave Yonkman, stuffed pig pillow


De-flowered

To be honest, I’m surprised that it lasted in the front lounge of the bus for the three weeks that it did. There are 11 of us on this bus, and space is very precious. And a month into the tour people are probably starting to feel lonely. And by “people,” I mean Gordon. Gordon fucked my pig, I know he did.

4/26 Middlebury College

Starting to feel lonely at this point in the tour, Ryan read aloud an email we received through our website to the Middlebury College crowd:

Dear Guster,
We would like to remind you that if you play “Like a Prayer” at Middlebury, as part of a school tradition that is taken advantage of at our three social houses, all males (and many females) will take their tops off. Try it and see.

Mary and Dan

We were pretty sure “Mary and Dan” were just trying to con us into an ill-advised excavation our old acoustic version of Madonna’s song, which has been propogated on the internet despite its retirement from our set and despite its, uh, lack of merit. We actually stole the idea from John Wesley Harding’s cover of the song when we were in college. Anyway, we decided to “try it and see” at Middlebury because really, what did we have to lose? (Hey, free dummy).

It worked!


try it and see

There were a lot of topless guys, a bunch of women in bras, and one very brave completely topless girl (I am told)

4/28 Siena College

Joe decided to clean the bus today and that meant some difficult decisions. The pig is gone, after leaking cotton innards all over the front lounge. That was an easy one. But what to do with ?uestlove’s drum head? (It’s fun to type someone’s name with a question mark instead of a Q — try it). I’m really not a collector, but I’m a big fan of his drumming. The more I stared at the drum head, the clearer the picture became. It’s a new head… a snare head…. it’s a 14 inch coated ambassador from Remo, just like the kind I use…

If the kids at Siena College notice I’m playing a little funkier tonight (or maybe just a little less awkwardly), you’ll all know where the inspiration came from:

Go Irish!

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04.22.07 – Boston, MA

This is the video we showed the crowd before taking the stage at the Boston Opera House this weekend:

Many thanks to Buccigross for playing along. I heard he said “there’s two points for honesty” during a basketball highlight on Sportscenter last night too. There are a lot of people to thank, actually. I’m about to get all award-show-acceptance-speechy on your asses.

Thanks to Dave Yonkman for hatching this idea and executing the shit out of it. Thanks to our manager, Dalton, for trying his best to act, but ultimately reading a cue card like Christopher Walken does on Saturday Night Live. Thanks to Joe for stuffing a pair of hackey sacks down his shorts to create his own two points for honesty. Thanks to Ryan for cracking a raw egg into his mouth on camera and waiting until the shot was over before spitting it into the sink. And thanks to the nice people at Fenway for letting me crawl through a hole in the scoreboard. When the video ended we brought out a paper banner for us to break through gloriously at the moment where the guitar kicks in during “We Will Rock You.” The Boston entrance bar keeps getting lower, but it’s still a fucken bar!

Special thanks to Liz and Nicky from our office for making those banners. With the leftover paper scraps they made a second banner for the “encore” on Saturday night. They wrote “Bob Saget” on it and Ryan made the crowd chant “Bob! Bob! Bob!” before we’d play the encore songs — what happened next is shocking.

Bob Saget walked through the banner.

To understand why this is funny, you might need to look at it from Adam’s perspective — which happens to also be the crowd’s perspective. No one told Adam about this part of the show, so in his head Adam’s expecting this to be just another Guster exercise in anti-climax. Like the crowd, Adam is playing along with a lackluster “Bob” chant and waiting to be disappointed when Andy, our guitar tech, busts through the paper sign to complete the not very funny gag. Then Saget emerges, triumphantly. Shock. Awe. Flashbacks to videos of people getting hit in the nuts with footballs. The crowd goes crazy.

I have also enjoyed thinking about this from Saget’s perspective. The guy performs at the Orpheum to a sold-out crowd, but before heading home to the hotel, he has his limo take a pit stop at the Boston Opera House where some band he’s never heard of has invited him to make a random appearance. He walks on stage, breaks through a homemade banner with his name on it, waves at a crowd that is going ga-ga because they fucken loved Full House, shakes the band’s hands, tells Ryan “this is awesome,” and then heads to the hotel.

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04.12.07 – Macomb, IL

Have you guys seen the cartoon caption thing they do in The New Yorker? Of course you have. Guster fans are some of the most literate, progressive, and culturally-aware music fans around. And they’re good at beer pong to boot. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, the magazine runs a contest every week where they print a political cartoon but leave the caption out — for you, the literate, progressive, and culturally-aware reader to create.

For example, here’s a recent one:

My submission was: “Shoot him! Shoot him dead for his dolphin meat before he gets away!”

The winning submission, from Lawrence Wood of Chicago Illinois, was: “If he’s so damn intelligent, let him get a job.”

So now that everyone understands, let’s have our own Guster-themed caption contest. Here’s the photo from Ryan Miller’s cell phone:

That’s me, Joe, and a member of the Macomb IL police force on the campus of Western Illinois University. The cop is the one “talking” in our cartoon. Send your caption ideas to my personal email address and I’ll post the top three, along with an actual explanation of the situation on Monday. In the event that I don’t get three submissions, I will make up a few captions, post them with some fake names and hometowns, and eat a pint of ice cream while weeping into it. Good luck!

Update — April 16th

So the real story is the campus police nearly tasered us for playing bocce on a campus construction site before the show at Western Illinois University. We can’t help it, we like our bocce to be extreme, in a mini-golf sort of way. Anyway, when he found out we were the band he calmed down, ran our driver’s licenses, and didn’t arrest us.

Thanks for all the awesome captions… I whittled it down to my favorite ten. Here we go…

1st PLACE: “Well, how do you propose we get this “Mr. Scooter” out of the pipe?” — Eric Riddle, Richardson TX

2nd PLACE: “I’m carbon neutral too, which one of you boys is going to kiss me?” — Jeni Mand, Minneapolis MN

3rd PLACE: “I don’t know if you can play here – you all look mighty Jew to me” — Gregory Rogers, Boston MA

HONORABLE MENTION (in no particular order):

“Which one of you is Rosenw….  Rosen…  Rosenwer ….. Screw it.  Just don’t come back here again.” — Chris Wood, St Louis MO

“This isn’t a photo ID, this is a Blimpie “buy 12 subs get one free” card! — Dan Deluca, Worcester MA

“Eco-friendly tour or not, I’m not letting you build your own sewer system.” — Justin Parlette, Topeka KS

“The reason I had to come over here is… wait. Are you guys Guster? Is Scooter around? I’d love an autograph.” –Becky Weidhaas, Harwich MA

“Son, in Illinois we don’t play the drums with our hands…” — Angie Refo, Tampa FL

“Actually, i’m not really a cop….but, I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.” — Andrew Kontak, Dallas TX

“As soon as you autograph my left buttock, you’ll be on your way.” — Kevin Strogen, College Park MD

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04.06.07 – Oklahoma

Highlights from the last week on the road:

Monday in Lawrence Kansas, nearing the end of a great show at Liberty Hall, Ryan got a little comfortable on stage and decided to confess “we were really glad Kansas lost in the basketball tournament” … {hush comes over the crowd} … {silence becomes more awkward} … {drummer locates emergency exits behind the stage} … somethings are best unsaid in front of a crowd of Jayhawks.

Jayhawk curse or not, that night I came down with a fever. Chills, sore throat, general malaise. The kind of fever where even if you prescribe more cowbell you still feel like you’re gonna throw up. So the next night in Norman, Oklahoma I added some tylenol to my usual diet of ibuprofen so I would feel well enough to watch Demetri Martin open for us. We don’t play after stand-up comedians very often, but when we do it’s nice when it’s one of the only funny ones I can think of. Here’s Demetri standing in front of my percussion kit, wearing a light blue mickey mouse sweatshirt:

On my way to the bus after the show I saw Demetri standing outside the venue chatting with a group of people. These people had formed a perfect circle with Demetri while they asked for autographs or whatever. And I felt a joke coming on, and I went for it even though it’s probably ill-advised to try to be funny around a professional comic. “You guys need a hackey sack?”

{hush comes over the crowd} … I decided to clarify my joke with a follow-up charade and gestured like I was flipping an imaginary hackey sack into the middle of their circle… {silence becomes more awkward} … I think at that point I made the imaginary flip one last time (to really drive it home), mumbled something about being feverish, and continued on to the bus.

Did anyone notice the mullet on the security guard in Tulsa last night? I was kicking myself for not having my camera on me. Fortunately Dave “D.F.” Yonkman had his camera on him and took 25 photos of him. Enjoy!

Update. Dave somehow erased them. Would have made a nice montage. Instead, here’s a rogue mullet from a google image search. Enjoy!

Another update 4/7… thanks to Nonya for sending in this photo of our security friend during The Format’s set. Enjoy!

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